Once upon a time ToS: The beauty and the beast
by falcon crest
Summary: Once upon a time there lived a wealthy merchant named Kratos who lived with his wife Anna in his mansion in Meltokio. But his wife died one day, and he was old, he could no longer remarry. He had three daughters and three sons. chapter 3 up!
1. Chapter 1

The Cutie and the Noishe

* * *

Once upon a time there lived a wealthy merchant named Kratos who lived with his wife Anna in his mansion in Meltokio. But his wife died one day, and he was old, he could no longer remarry. He had three daughters and three sons. The sons were called Regal, Genis and Botta, but they're secondary in this fic and won't really matter. The daughters were all very… special? Yes, special, that's the best word… The two oldest ones, called Pronyma and Yggdrasil, were vain and arrogant and always did all they could do to be the center of all the attention and harm their younger sister. The youngest was very cute and everyone called her 'cutie'. Her name was Colette. While her sisters would do all they could to disgrace her and be the center of all the attention, Colette would always be calm, smile, be polite, endure, and, when she didn't, she would spend her time reading.

* * *

Yggdrasil: You… gave… me… the… role… of… a… girl?!?!

FC: Yes, I know that.

Pronyma: Does that mean I will stay by my lord's side?

FC: Yes it does.

Yggdrasil: Why a woman?

FC: because I wanted it to be like that, anyway, it avoided me to change your looks.

Yggdrasil: You do know I can cast judgment on you?

FC: And I have a much more powerful spell. It's called "super author only privilege character instant deletion". Anything more to say?

Yggdrasil: I'll get you for this one day, I swear I will.

* * *

Back to the story.

He was smart merchant and sent his three sons away to study and raised his three daughters with all his love. But one day, out of the blue, some stupid idiot sent a Derrik-Kharlam wrath on the bank in which all his gald, his stock market actions, his jewelry etc. And therefore became poor, and they had to move out to the countryside in the puny Iselia village.

* * *

FC: Ok… what happened?

Remiel: I pressed this red button

Kratos, Yggdrasil and Yuan: For god's sake! We told you! NEVER PRESS THE RED BUTTON!!!

Yggdrasil: Now, because of you, not only am I a girl, but I'm also poor!

* * *

Now they actually needed to _work_ to live. But the two older sisters, who were vain and arrogant and despised their younger sister for being cuter, would just walk around talking about the white and grey, gold and silver clothes they used to wear. But Colette was a kind girl and, even though her father pleaded her to stop before the whole cottage was torn down because of her falling all the time, she helped out. The older sisters were cruel with her and gave her hard work to do, without thinking of the terrible consequences.

One day, Kratos received the news that a ship with merchandise had arrived, and so he went to the port, but before doing so, he asked his daughters. "What do you want?" Yggdrasil, the oldest one answered "A project angelus exsphere", Pronyma, the second one said "A Cruxis crystal". Seeing as Colette was pure and didn't really want anything, just for the pleasure of it, she answered "A red rose". And so, the merchant went off on his journey to check out the ship.

* * *

FC: Whew, the first chapter is over and I won't hold a staff meeting since there is only about half the staff present at this moment

Yggdrasil: We still haven't settled my complaint. It was that –

FC: Mute button. I just _love_ this new remote control


	2. Chapter 2

FC: Ok, guys, before the second chapter starts, I'll introduce a new member to the crew. He's new and hasn't been in any productions yet, so I hope you'll help him out.

Noishe: bark!

Colette: He's so cuuuuute

Yggdrasil: we're going to have to share a play with a _dog_?

Raine: A protozoan to be precise

FC: Raine, you're not in this play… therefore don't butt in the staff meetings

Genis: Though its true that he's a protozoan, not a dog.

FC: Whatever, let's get the second chapter started already. Err… by the way, anyone know where we were?

Kratos: I left on a journey to get money.

FC: Thanks

* * *

So Kratos went to Palmacosta to check out on the ships. But no luck. His ship came back with barely anything in it. Worst of all, the money he got from the merchandise wasn't even enough to pay for the trip. Now what was he going to do? Well, he just had to go back to Iselia with no money and no gifts, and they would have to continue _working_ to be able to live.

On his way back, after two nights without sleep. In the middle of a snowstorm, he thought he was going to die. But, there was a ray of hope. He saw a castle. He walked to it. All the lights were on. He was hungry, he was hot, he was tired, and he was thirsty. Even though he hadn't been invited, he went in. Inside, he saw a great table with food for one person. He thought he could wait for the owner to come and grant him permission to eat. But hours went by and no one appeared so he ate. Once full, he thought that there might be some place he could sleep in. The first room he saw had a "you can sleep here" sign. So, thanking Martel for the hospitality this unknown owner was giving him, he went to sleep. And boy, did he snore! All the monsters in the area were so scared they ran away. Oh, sorry, lets get back to the story.

The next morning, when he woke up, instead of his cheap purple linen clothes he had put aside, there was a white expensive stylish suit for him to wear. When he went down, there was a box of gold coins and breakfast on the table. He gobbled it up (the food, not the coins) and left the palace. On the way out, he saw a garden. In it was a rose bed with a "do not touch" sign. Pathetically taking everything for granted, he took a rose anyway, and that is when all hell went lose.

A green creature appeared and said "bark bark! Whine!"-

* * *

FC: Where's the voice?

Yuan: I won't play the role.

FC: Oh, so you won't?

Yuan: It's much to degrading; I'd rather die than be the voice of a dog!

Raine: protozoan.

Yuan: Whatever.

FC: Yes, well the problem being: I didn't give you a choice. So you're going to take it.

Let's go back to the beginning of the paragraph.

* * *

A green creature appeared and said, in a very low, bad tempered and dangerous tone "Who are you? Why did you take a rose even though it's clearly forbidden? You are ungrateful. Now I will kill you." The old merchant hesitated. Should he run away like a girl? No, it wouldn't work, the Noishe seemed fast. So he used technique number two. He sweet talked. "I'm sorry for the rose, I have three daughters and one of them wanted a rose so I was planning to give it to her, spare me, for the sake of my children."

The Noishe would hear none of it. "I'm in a really bad mood because of my role, and you even took a rose, so don't think I'll let you get away with it so easily. Now you're going to get killed or go back to your house and bring me one of your daughters in three days time!" Kratos thought of slaying the Noishe for a second or so. But thought better of it. It was really pissed and twice as large as Kratos. Much too dangerous, he would just end up killed. And so he agreed, in three days time, he would surrender and die or bring one of his daughters. He then left.

* * *

FC: Wow, Yuan, you're really into it, I knew that you would be fine for that role.

Yuan: I hate you.

FC: Hey, it's a nice role; you're the voice of the main character.

Yggdrasil: I'm not sure I understand this correctly. Are you saying that a _dog_ gets a more important role than me?

Genis: protozoan

Yggdrasil: WHO CARES? I want the answer to my question

FC: Yes, Noishe, whatever animal you consider him to be, has a better role than yours

Yggdrasil: I hate you!

FC: Tell me something I don't know

* * *

And so the old merchant Kratos went home. Once home, he was greeted by his whole family. He seemed grieved, as if he had lost a dear one. Which, as a matter of fact, wasn't _that_ close to the truth, but he just had a tendency to anticipate too much. And so his two elder daughters asked him if he had bought what they asked for. He was weeping and answered that no, he hadn't. And then gave the red rose to Colette. And he explained the whole story, and that, as a responsible father who would – ehem – not abandon one of his children, he would go surrender to the Noishe.

* * *

Kratos: what was that "ehem" about?

FC: Oh… nothing…

Kratos: do you imply I would dare abandon a child of mine.

FC: no, of course not… you would never… especially not a… son, right?

Kratos: I see, and your point would be…

FC: nothing, nothing… Just that my "ehem" was well deserved

Kratos: I-

FC: Yes, I know, you hate me…

Kratos: …

FC: no need to try to speak, I used the mute button again.

Kratos: (walks away furiously)

* * *

The two elder sisters were unhappy. Because they knew that if the father dies, then there would be no more income and then _they_ would have to work. Colette, the nicest one, wasn't sad. This was a perfect excuse to persecute her a bit more. "Look at you" said Yggdrasil. "By your fault father will die, and you don't even feel bad about it" and she smacked Colette. Colette was used to it and smiled. "There is no need to feel sad, since I will take his place and go to the Noishe". Needless to say, the sisters were all too happy for this to happen. The cutie was at last going to leave and, hopefully, get eaten by the Noishe.

There was an argument. But the problem with Colette was: she was stubborn. Eating Raine's food and surviving was an easy task compared to trying to change her mind once she had decided to do something. And so, the very "responsible" father and his extremely cute and stubborn daughter left for the castle of the Noishe.

* * *

FC: Staff meeting!

Kratos: I sob and am insulted, how dare you do that to me? I resent this role and your twisted personality.

FC: (yawn) I know, I know… and really, I don't care. NEXT-

Colette: I like my role

FC: happy to hear at least someone likes the role I give them

Yggdrasil: I'm a guy! Not a girl! A guy! What's with this role?

FC: Geez, you're still on that? I thought we already talked about it. NEXT-

Noishe: bark! Bark! Whiiine

Yggdrasil: don't ignore me!

FC: Noishe's food is in the cupboard to your left. Give him some.

Genis Regal & Botta: You said we were secondary.

FC: well yes you are, we won't be talking about you anymore, so get lost. NEXT-

Pronyma: Why am I my lord's sister? Shouldn't I be his servant?

FC: (sweatdrops) Err… I didn't know you were like that, please get away from me. NE- NEXT-

Yuan: I'll never forgive you.

FC: like I said, I don't care, so shut up.

FC: there staff meeting is over. See you soon in the next chapter of the "The cutie and the Noishe"


	3. Chapter 3

FC: Right. I completely forgot what happened. Can anyone remind me?

Kratos: I was bringing Colette over to the Noishe

FC: Right, so let's get back there

* * *

Kratos had a plan. He planned to abandon Colette in the woods. And he would tell the Noishe that he lost her or something like that. With some luck, the Noishe wouldn't look into it any further. "Colette, can you pick up some wood please?" Kratos asked. Colette, as a nice child who always does the chores that are given to her seriously, if clumsily, did so.

* * *

FC: You do know that isn't very fair play, right?

Kratos: No matter, at least I managed to save her

FC: You call abandoning her in the forest _saving_ her?

Kratos: Well… relatively speaking.

FC: Whatever

* * *

That was all he needed Kratos ran away, back to his home, having the satisfaction of not sending his daughter to certain doom. But that was without counting on Colette's, what could under certain angles be considered as, luck. Not only did she get lost. But by getting lost, she found her way to the castle and into the rose garden. Then she went in.

* * *

Kratos: You cheater!

FC: If you can cheat, then so can I

Kratos: I'll make you pay for this

FC: Do you have _any_ idea how many times you and your friends threatened me like that?

Kratos: seven times, including the times when we told you that we hate you.

FC: (sweatdrops) Ok, so you _do_ have an idea. But that's beside the point. The point is, I am the author, and my word is law!

Kratos: (grumbles)

* * *

Back to the story

So, yeah, the cutie went in the castle. But it was deserted. Just like when her father arrived. Again, there was food. Again, there was a room with a "Cutie" sign on the door, thus clearly indicating which room Colette was to sleep in.

The next morning, when she woke up, there was still no sign of the Noishe, so she decided to clean up. After all, the entire place needed dusting, moping and altogether cleaning. It was obvious this was the house of a solitary male, even if the species of said male had yet to be confirmed. And so she went in the laundry and took a dust cloth, some water and a broom. Needless to talk about the chaos and destruction that _that_ caused. What _is_ worth talking about, though, is what happened after the mass destruction: The Noishe finally showed himself.

* * *

Yuan: Not only do I have to be a _dog_-

Genis: Protozoan

Yuan Whatever! My point is: Not only do I have to be one, but my home also gets destroyed. What do you have to say for yourself?

FC: Patience, my friend, patience

Yuan: One: I am NOT your friend. And two: patience till when???

FC: Just a bit more, ok?

Yuan: fine, whatever…

* * *

"You have destroyed half the place" the Noishe bellowed in his angry tone. "I am still in a bad mood because of my role, and you're not making it any better. I changed my mind. You are to go home!" he added with a couple more decibels than absolutely necessary. But Colette was hell bent on helping him out. So he had an idea. "I heard your family is poor." He snapped his fingers and a chest and a rehaird appeared in front of them. "Bring this home and don't ever come back!" he offered as a deal.

After a whole night's thought, she accepted, and so she arrived home with no difficulties (thanks to the rehaird's auto-pilot) and brought with her millions and millions of gald. Her father greeted her with tears of joy and her sisters with tears of envy (which they pretended were tears of joy). And once again, they were rich

Colette told everyone how it was over there. The beautiful house. The incredible gardens. How the Noishe was so discreet and rarely showed himself. And how he was so sweet, to keep insisting on doing the cleaning himself instead of letting her do it. At this point, Kratos, who knew what Colette's cleaning could do, understood the reason of her forced departure, but her sisters who never paid attention to what Colette did or didn't do, believed her and thought that the Noishe was a actually a kind person.

* * *

Yggdrasil: Why does she get everything?

FC: because I want her to

Yggdrasil: That's not fair!

FC: If you weren't a villain and if I wasn't cruel, you'd get stuff too

Yggdrasil: I'm gonna-

FC: No time for that. Back to the story

* * *

But one day, a week later to be precise, Colette started feeling sorry for the Noishe. All alone in his enormous castle. And so she decided to go back there and keep him company.

* * *

FC: end of chapter

Yggdrasil: I didn't even play a part in this chapter!

FC: I know, but you will in the next one

Yggdrasil: I don't like your smile.

FC: Nonsense. NEXT-

Yuan: I'm going to wait a bit, but you better keep your word or else…

FC: Yes, that's a good patient boy. NEXT-

Colette: Is the Noishe going to be happy in the end

FC: Yes. NEXT-

Noishe: bark! Bark!

FC: End of staff meeting!


End file.
